


you put me on and said i was your favorite

by inlovewithimpossibility



Series: olicity x folklore [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, High School, Inspired by Taylor Swift, Miscommunication, Miss Swift Owns Me, Reconciliation, Song: cardigan (Taylor Swift)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25916917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithimpossibility/pseuds/inlovewithimpossibility
Summary: Oliver broke Felicity's heart before she moved to MIT, now as she gets ready to head home for winter break, felicity has to face him again.[part 2 of 17 in the 'folklore' series]
Relationships: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Series: olicity x folklore [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875232
Comments: 31
Kudos: 185





	you put me on and said i was your favorite

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to the 'folklore' series, this is my fic inspired by 'cardigan'. I sincerely hope you enjoy and, if you're so inclined, let me know what you think by leaving a kudos and/or comment! 
> 
> I hope you're all keeping well and looking after yourselves in these difficult times <3

* * *

The sun reflects against the snow covering the courtyard as it rises, it bathes the beautiful brick buildings surrounding it in the most iridescent light. Cambridge seems to thrum with anticipation this time of year and Felicity has to admit that she loves it. College has never failed to feel new and exciting in the months since she moved here, all the way from the opposite coast, and Felicity is so grateful for that. It keeps her mind off of Starling City and what she left there and the pain of her last few weeks in her hometown.

She fills her days with new experiences, burying her head in her books and throwing all her energy into her studies. She’s always excelled at school but never this well, every last spare bit of her time is spent studying. If she’s not at work at the small café just off of campus, in class, or working her second job at the student bar, she’s in the library. She’s polite with her peers, interacting with them with smiles and warmth, but she doesn’t get too close to anyone, she can’t, not with the wound of her heartbreak still so fresh.

Despite how hard she tries, she sees Oliver everywhere. Class reminds her of the years she spent in her high school hallways with him, dragging him to class when he wanted to skip and smirking at him across the room when he finally listened. The library reminds her of him pulling her out of their high school one, forcing her to relax and have some fun, dragging her out to his bike and driving her along the coastline, the wind whipping through her hair and her body pressed against his own on the small bike seat. Work reminds her of the cafes in Starling they’d spend hours in, nursing a single cup of coffee that would always be cold by the time they were done. They’d talk about nothing, never needing more than each other.

And the cars that drive around the city remind her of how he drove away, leaving her standing at the spot overlooking the city that had become _theirs,_ after he broke her heart.

Autumn turned to winter as the cold air whips through the Cambridge streets and yet, Felicity’s heartache gets no less painful. Oliver was everything to her and to not have him now… it’s worse than she could ever have imagined.

One of the worst things is still not knowing exactly what happened. Oliver just told her that he couldn’t do it anymore and then he got in his car and drove away.

And now, as she looks out of her window over the courtyard, she’s faced with the fact that tomorrow, she’ll be on a plane and heading back across the country to the town and the man who broke her heart.

“Felicity? You okay?” Alena, her roommate, questions with a concerned frown. The small girl Felicity shares a dorm with is the only slight exception to her ‘no getting close to people’ rule. She can’t help but interact with Alena and she finds the girl to be sweet, kind, and funny. She’s glad to have _someone_ here and she’s glad that it’s Alena.

“Yeah, I’m good, I’m just… thinking about winter break,” Felicity answers with a shake of her head, turning her attention back to packing up her bag. It’s odd, she never particularly imagined going back home for breaks but she’s missed Starling more than she thought she would, even if even the idea of seeing Oliver again makes her want to vomit.

“Are you excited? I haven’t seen my parents since they dropped me off,” Alena questions from where she’s focused on the same task on the opposite side of the room. They’ve done what they can with the small dingy room, lifted the beds to give themselves more storage, and both of their walls are littered with posters and photos and after a few months, the small shoebox room is starting to feel a little bit like home.

“It’ll be good to see Mom again and some of my friends, I’ve missed them,” Felicity counters but she knows it’s not convincing when Alena drops the hoodie she’s holding to raise a dubious eyebrow at her. She blushes for a moment when her roommate tilts her head before she shakes her head.

“Oh is this about this boy and those pictures you keep under your pillow?” Alena suddenly questions after a moment of clear pondering and Felicity’s eyes widen as she darts to look at where what she thought where her secret polaroids are in fact sticking out from underneath her pillow.

“How do you know about that?” Felicity frowns, turning back to look at Alena with wide eyes, and her roommate chuckles, shaking her head.

“You’re not that subtle, Felicity. Who is he? An ex?” Alena asks as her voice softens, smiling warmly and encouragingly at Felicity. Felicity sighs, taking a moment to look at Alena before she remembers how much she does trust her roommate and friend.

“Yeah… he was my best friend before we were together and then just before I left, he broke up with me, no explanation, no nothing,” Felicity sighs with a shrug, blinking back the tears that immediately spring to her eyes at the thought of that day. It immediately hits her, the way her knees had given out and she fell to the floor and how when her mom showed up to pick her up, she’d sobbed the whole way home and for the rest of the night.

“Ugh men, I hate them. Are you going to have to see him?” Alena scoffs with a roll of her eyes and Felicity smiles. It’s nice to talk about it and have the support of a friend, Felicity didn’t even tell her mother the full story. After all that, she couldn’t turn her against Oliver, not when she knows how much they mean to each other.

“Yup, our families are friends, we go to their holiday party every year and Mom’s already told me I can’t get out of it. His little sister is also counting on me and I’ve missed her something awful so I can’t let her down,” Felicity sighs, glancing over to her wall where she has put pictures of her and the youngest Queen. She’s been in Thea’s life practically since the kid was born and she knows that she’s right. No matter how much the wound Oliver carved in her heart still aches, she can’t leave Thea in the lurch, not when she knows how excited the kid is to see her.

“Lord, Smoak, godspeed,” Alena comments and Felicity sighs with a nod of her head.

“I’ll need it,” She replies tensely, pressing an old t-shirt that she’s sure was Oliver’s at some point into the bag with clenched teeth. This is going to be the longest week of her life.

* * *

The flight back exhausts her but by the time she’s back in the small apartment on the nice side of town, smiling at her mother as she rushes around the kitchen in her usual whirlwind of energy. She’s missed her mother, despite their differences, she adores her and she didn’t realize how much she loves the crazy hurricane her mother can be until she was on the opposite coast.

“Darling, could you run to the store and grab me some more potatoes and tomatoes? I need to get this done before we head to the Queens tonight,” Donna calls out, and Felicity groans from where she’s sitting on the couch. She’s been back for a few hours and hasn’t napped so she knows that she really should just suck it up and do as her mother is asking, but the reminder of the nightmare of a party upcoming does not put her in a good mood. 

“Mom…” She groans, knowing she sounds like a petulant child which feels a little odd after being on her own for the past months but she supposes it’s a side effect of being home. Donna immediately catches on to what Felicity is really groaning about, knowing that it’s not to do with her request for Felicity to head to the store.

“Honey, no, I will hear none of it. The Queens are a part of our lives, I know you and Oliver have your issues, but Moira and Robert are our close friends and Thea will be so disappointed to not see you after all these months,” Donna explains with a reprimanding raised eyebrow and the way Felicity’s stomach sinks almost has her telling her mother the full truth. Shaking her head and remembering her reasons for keeping her mom in the dark, she takes a deep breath and stands from the couch. She knows she’s right in terms of Moira, Robert, and Thea and she really has missed those Queens, they’ve been just as much her family as her mom has.

“Okay, okay, fine, I’ll go and I’ll go to the store,” She groans, walking over to accept the cash her mom is holding out for her to take.

“Thank you, darling, I knew I had you for a reason,” Donna smiles, pressing up on her toes to press a kiss to Felicity’s temple.

“To run errands for you?” Felicity scoffs with an affectionate roll of her eyes, indulging her mother as she wraps her in one of her characteristic smothering hugs.

“The beauty of having grown-up children,” Donna comments with a smirk that has Felicity chuckling as she’s finally released and begins to make her way to the apartment door. Just as she unlocks and turns the door, her mother calls out, “Oh! Could you also…”

“No, I cannot get a bottle of wine, Mom. For the last time, I didn’t take you up on your offer of a fake ID,” Felicity interrupts, already knowing what her mother’s request is.

“Offer still stands!” Donna calls out with a smile Felicity sees rather than hears and the younger blonde shakes her head with a chuckle.

“And the answer’s still no thank you!”

Slipping back into her Mini Cooper gives her the same feeling walking back into the apartment had. Something deep within her settles, it’s like coming home, and Felicity even finds herself welling up as she settles into the driver’s seat. This car is her baby, she worked extra shifts at her job here for a year to save up enough to buy the second-hand vehicle and it’s one of her biggest accomplishments for sure. She remembers how Oliver had teased her about the size of it, telling her how it matches her own tiny size. She got her revenge on him, however, when he tried to drive it and the entire process was just so hilarious due to him barely fitting in the car. It’s bittersweet, the way all her memories are tied to him, but despite her heartbreak, she can’t say she’d switch the joy they brought her for anything.

Shaking her head and the memories off, she drives the short distance to the grocery store, smiling as a nostalgic feeling settles in her chest. This is her town, her home, she knows every crevice, has a memory attached to each nook and cranny of this place. It’s a high that she wants to cling to and she’s riding it so well that she doesn’t even notice the familiar car parked a few spaces down when she pulls into the grocery store.

If she’d seen it, she’d probably drive across town to the other store, but she doesn’t so the sight of the person she’s been dreading seeing for the past week as she rounds the corner into the aisle full of chips makes her freeze.

Oliver, standing at the other end of the aisle contemplating between two types of healthy chip alternatives. He looks just as good as he had that day on the hill, his muscular build evident beneath his flannel shirt and hair cut in that way that she’s always found ridiculously attractive. He looks like everything she’s missed and the sight of him enacts that same feeling her mom, the apartment, and her car had, but there’s something else too. Her heart constricts painfully, thinking of the way he walked away and how much that had hurt. The sight of him is the most beautiful pain she’s ever experienced and she hates the part of her that still wants nothing more than to rush into his arms.

She should make a quick getaway, forget about the chips and just buy the potatoes and tomatoes for her mom but she’s stuck where she’s standing, unable to look away from the man before her and it’s very quickly too late. Oliver turns around and freezes where he’s stood too, a look of amazement covering his face.

“Felicity?” He questions in wonder and before Felicity knows it, he’s stood right before her and she’s faced with all the heartbreak of the last months. It takes everything in her to breathe and not let the tears welling in her eyes spill over.

“O… _Oliver,”_ She stumbles out, her voice soundly completely foreign to her. This is all she’s been thinking about for a month and now as she’s faced with it, she can’t think of all the things she thought to say. She wants to scream, to yell, to cry, to make him feel all the pain he caused her, but as she stares at him, all she can feel is that security he’s always given her.

The way she would feel when he hugged her, the warmth that would consume her, and that love that would wrap its way around her… she _misses_ it, and she feels that so prevalently now. She’s always felt most like herself when she’s with Oliver and despite the pain he caused, she can feel that sinking back through her veins now.

“Hi, you look… you look great,” Oliver comments in that same amazed tone, his eyes sweeping over her tone and for a moment, Felicity blushes. She’s dressed in sweats but he’s still looking at her as he always did like she’s beautiful no matter what. He’s always had this remarkable ability to make her feel so special as if she’s the only thing that matters, his favorite…

But then she feels that familiar feeling tugging in her stomach and she shakes her head.

“No,” She comments simply with a shake of her head, taking a step back and scoffing.

“Pardon?” Oliver questions, that expression finally dissipating as it turns to confusion. His head tilts in that familiar way, staring at her in total bafflement as if he has no understanding of why she might possibly not be okay with him saying she looks good.

And _that_ gets her mad.

“I said no,” Felicity repeats simply, shaking her head and forces herself to not react when Oliver _melts._

“Felicity…” He whispers, his entire being slumping as if she’s the one who’s wounded him.

“Oliver, I don’t want to talk to you, not here, not now,” Felicity shakes her head, stepping back and shaking the hand that is not holding the basket with her mother’s items in as she bites her lip.

“Later then?” Oliver questions and his genuinely hopeful expression cuts through her like a knife.

“No, actually, that was a lie. I don’t want to talk to you ever,” She corrects, shaking her head as she turns on her heel and walks back towards the checkouts.

“Felicity…” She hears Oliver rushing to catch up with her. He always was quicker than her, however, she was never athletic, and soon enough, he’s stood before her, looking at her with those puppy eyes that have always wounded her.

Now, however, they make her lose the last piece of self-control she was holding onto.

“No! Oliver, you do not get to do this. You broke my heart. Do you know that I’ve cried over you every night since you left me at that hilltop? That my heart aches with the pain of losing you every single day? That getting over you is the only thing I’ve never been able to do? You broke my heart, you _don’t_ get to act like that never happened,” She screams, her voice shrill as she forgets that they’re in a public space. Her eyes fill with tears once more and when he tilts his head to look at her with those same damn puppy dog eyes, they flood down her cheeks like a waterfall. 

“I’m sorry, I never meant to…” Oliver starts, stepping forward as if it’s his intention to cup her elbow but Felicity just swallows thickly with a scoff, stepping back and out of his reach.

“You never meant to what, Oliver? What did you think was going to happen? That you’d leave and I’d just be fine. I _loved_ you, you were _everything_ to me. You weren’t just my boyfriend, you were my best friend, my confidante, the man I _loved,_ and you knew how hard that was for me. You _knew_ how hard it was to open up my heart, that you had always been the exception… until you left too.”

The words flow out of her finally, all those things she’s been stewing in her mind since he turned around on that hill and didn’t give her the chance to even talk to him about the breakup. She’s embarrassed about the setting, especially as she realizes that they’ve garnered quite the crowd but letting that out makes her feel like a huge weight has been lifted from her chest.

“Felicity…” Oliver sighs, looking every bit like she’s punched him right in the gut. He knows her, better than anyone on this planet, and the fact that he didn’t connect that she would relate his leaving to her father doing the same is baffling to her.

She thought he knew her better than that.

“No, _no._ Do you know what the worse thing in all of this is, Oliver? Do you? I’m still in love with you and I think a part of me always will be. A love like I felt for you? That can’t be erased in a matter of months.”

Her voice quietens, the fight leaving her body as her shoulders slump and she shakes her head, the lump in her throat the size of a boulder. She shakes her head as Oliver stares at her in shock, his expression melting into pain and guilt as he clearly flounders for something to say.

“I…” He starts but trails off, clearing coming up short and Felicity just shrugs with another shake of her head, squaring off her shoulders and turning around.

“I will play civil tonight, I will be nice for your parents and Thea and for my mom but don’t you dare think for a second that it’s anything to do with you,” She bites at him, her heart wrenching in her chest as she spins on her heel and marches to the checkouts, her chin held aloft. The crowd that gathered around them dissipates to let her through, no one meeting her eyes, and Felicity is proud of herself for making it through paying for the produce and getting to her car before she fully breaks down. 

* * *

She spends thirty minutes in the car once she gets back to the apartment making sure there’s no trace of her breakdown before she heads back into her mom. She passes the rest of the day in a haze, busying herself by making herself useful to her mom. It’s nice to take her mind off Oliver and her mom really is the main reason she even came home for winter break.

Once all their prep is done, Felicity finds herself busying herself getting ready for the party. She knows it’s silly and superficial but the thought of showing up to the party looking the best she has in months gives her the confidence boost she needs to get her butt out the door. She tames her curls so they fall prettily around her head and applies some light makeup, using some of the new techniques she’s picked up from the other girls at college. She pulls on a pretty bright blue dress with cap sleeves and a flowy skirt, pairing it with her usual gold jewelry and a strappy pair of heels.

“Oh honey, you look so pretty! Oliver won’t know what’s hit him,” Donna comments with a smirk when Felicity emerges from her room to find her mother dressed in a similar color, though her dress is a lot more revealing and form-fitted. It’s been their little joke with the Queens since they first started attending these parties when Felicity was just a kid, they wore blue to emphasize the _holiday_ party name, rather than it merely being Christmas.

“Mom, no. That’s not what this is about,” Felicity shakes her head and tucks a curl behind her ear, even as a blush paints its way over her cheeks.

“Whatever you say, honey,” Donna sing-songs as she reaches for a coat and scoops up the food before they head to the door. Felicity rolls her eyes but follows suit, the nerves growing into butterflies in her stomach as they drive the familiar route to the large mansion outside of the city.

It’s no sooner than they’ve handed their coats off to one of the staff that Felicity has her arms full of a very excitable, eight-year-old.

“Felicity!” Thea squeals excited and Felicity laughs as she bends to haul the little girl up into her arms. She lifts her so Thea can wrap her legs around her waist and then hugs her tightly, smiling as that same feeling from earlier settles warmly in her.

“Speedy! I missed you!” She exclaims with a bright smile once Thea lessens her death grip a little and the eight-year-old smiles widely at her, bouncing excitedly in her arms.

“I missed you so _so_ much! You not being here has been so boring and Ollie just mopes all the time,” Thea comments with a lack of filter only an adorable child can get away with and Felicity is grateful when Moira steps forward with an affectionate, admonishing look to lift Thea back down to the floor.

“Sweetheart, you know your brother and Felicity aren’t dating anymore,” Moira comments gently and Felicity feels her stomach twist uncomfortably at the thought of the breakup being discussed so casually.

“Yeah, because Ollie’s stupid,” Thea scoffs with a roll of her eyes as she crosses her arms over her chest and Felicity’s eyes widen at the comment.

“Thea!” Moira gasps, leveling Thea with a very unimpressed voice before she smiles warmly at Felicity and Donna, stepping up to hug the latter before she turns to the youngest blonde. “I’m sorry, it’s so good to see you, sweetheart,” The mother smiles, stepping forward to wrap her in a warm hug and Felicity sighs, melting into the familiar comfort.

“You too, Moira, I’ve missed you,” She responds truthfully, smiling with a blush when the matriarch cups her face gently. Moira is a complex woman and Felicity is very grateful to have her love and respect because her love is fierce and unequivocal when it’s given.

“Is that my favorite little genius?” A booming voice sounds as a tall, grey-haired man in an impeccable suit rounds the corner and Felicity lets out an almost childlike giggle when Robert Queen rushes over to scoop her into his arms.

“Robert!” She squeals excitedly as the tall man picks her off the floor with the intensity of his embrace. For Felicity, who never had a true father figure in her life, Robert has always been her male support, her guiding force, and her biggest supporter. Just like the rest of the Queens, she’s missed him something awful.

“We have missed your smile around here,” The kind man smiles at her warmly and Felicity blushes with a bright smile of her own.

“I’ve missed being around here,” She tells him honestly, her smile only widening as she takes the moment to take in the entranceway. The Queen mansion scared her once when she was just a little girl who knew nothing other than her and her mom’s tiny apartment. Over the years, however, it grew to feel just as much like home as that apartment was and she truly has missed being here. She knows, having spent so much time here over the past fifteen years, that it’s not the stuffy, ornate place she was thought it was, but a home that thrums with so much love.

She’s missed that.

“Smoaky!”

Felicity laughs as yet another familiar face appears around the corner with a bright smile for her. This man is younger, Felicity’s own age of eighteen, and he grins that devilishly handsome smile that she’s always been immune to at her as he rushes over to wrap her in a hug.

“Tommy Merlyn,” She comments with a grin and she grips her friend tightly. She’s grateful for Tommy, he’s made an effort to keep up with her and keep in touch despite her and Oliver’s estrangement. She really has missed the third member of what used to be their little trio and to hug him tightly is everything she was looking forward to about this trip.

“I’ve missed your derisive tones, Smoak. Got no one to keep me out of trouble anymore,” Tommy sniffs dramatically as they pull away and Felicity scoffs with a shake of her head.

“I thought I taught you better than that, thought we got to keeping yourself out of trouble by the end of senior year,” She teases with a smirk, knowing that there’s actually very little that can tame Tommy Merlyn. She spent fifteen years of her life trying and got nowhere, finally landing on deciding to love him for all his crazy ways.

“I guess I’m just missing your good influence,” He winks and Felicity laughs, shaking her head. “I’m going to whisk this one away and pretend we’re not drinking the alcohol at the free bar, okay?”

He addresses the question to Donna and the Queens. Thea looks like she might kick up a fuss but the adults just smile affectionately and Robert lifts a pouting Thea onto his hip to calm her.

“Bring her back soon, we’ve all missed her, Tommy!” The patriarch tells them and Felicity smiles at them all before Tommy loops their fingers together and begins to drag her through the party.

“You seriously want to do this?” Felicity questions with a shake of her head as she allows herself to be pulled through the gathering. There’s a lot of people Felicity recognizes, friends of Moira and Robert’s from the company that she’s brushed elbows with quite a bit over the years. She smiles politely when she gains a few waves but follows Tommy with a frown when they pass the aforementioned bar.

“Nope, that was just a typical Tommy Merlyn comment to drive you away from the pack,” He comments with a smirk over his shoulder as he opens a closed door and slips into the back corridor that leads through to the kitchen. Felicity knows this house like the back of her hand, knows that the rooms off of this corridor consist of Robert’s study and a smaller sitting room before it opens out into the massive kitchen at the other end but that gives her no clues as to why Tommy is pulling her through here.

“What’s going on?” She questions as he continues to tug her gently down the hallway.

“C’mon,” He encourages and Felicity frowns when he opens the door to what she knows is the smaller sitting room.

“Tommy! Gah, we are not in high school anymore, you don’t just get to…” She lamenting as he tugs her into the room, pushing her gently inside before he slips back to the door, blocking her exit and gripping the door. Frowning, she turns to assess the room and her eyes widen when she spots Oliver stood by the fireplace, that same hopeful look from earlier on his face. Felicity immediately turns back to look at Tommy, shaking her head. “No.”

“Just… ten minutes, okay? You two need to talk,” Tommy tells her with a warm, loving smile before he slips out, shutting the door behind him. Felicity groans when she hears a key turn in the lock.

“Tommy Merlyn, I swear to Google!” She yells, stepping up to the door and banging her fist against it.

“Felicity, please, you _have_ to listen to me,” Oliver finally speaks up and Felicity freezes, turning to look at him with a dubious raised eyebrow.

“Do I? As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have to do anything, not for you,” She scoffs as she leans against the door with an unimpressed look on her face. Oliver sighs, a defeated posture overtaking his large frame and Felicity feels a pang of guilt run through her.

“Okay, okay, that came out wrong, I just… please will you hear me out?” Oliver questions instead, his eyes swimming with unshed tears as he looks at her apologetically. He gestures to the couches in front of the roaring fire and Felicity takes a deep breath, pushing up off the door and brushing off her skirt.

“Fine,” She comments tensely, her heels clacking loudly against the hardwood floor as she walks across the room to settle on the comfortable couch. She’s glad Oliver chose this room if they’re going to do this. She’s been in here before but it’s not somewhere they spent a lot of time. Even though it’s in his house, it’s a more neutral location than his room or the kitchen or even the main sitting room would’ve been.

“I was a fool,” Oliver starts once he’s settled on the opposite couch and Felicity raises an eyebrow in surprise.

“Good start,” She comments with a small smirk and Oliver chuckles at her, shaking his head. He pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath and Felicity frowns as she realizes how much he’s struggling to form the words.

This is a man she knows better than anyone else. Before he was her boyfriend, he was her best friend of over a decade. She knows when he’s being thick-headed and she knows when he’s genuinely struggling. She’s shocked to realize that this is the latter.

“It was nothing to do with you. I just… I was so up in my head about you leaving that I freaked out. I mean, you moved literally across the country to start up this new life and I didn’t want to be the one thing tying you down,” He finally manages to get out but his explanation just confuses Felicity more, her frown deepening as she looks at him.

“Tying me down? Oliver, I have so many attachments to this place, we literally organized months before I left that I’d be interning at QC over my summers,” She reminds him with a shake of her head. She doesn’t understand how he could ever think he would be tying her down. Starling is her home and he was one of the largest parts of that. He wouldn’t have been holding her back in any way.

“That’s not what I mean, I just… I’m a screw-up. You were the one good thing I had going for me and I couldn’t even do that right. You deserve someone better, someone as smart as you, someone who can challenge you and help you get to the heights we all know you’re going to reach,” He elaborates and Felicity freezes as she watches the way the tears begin to slip silently down his cheeks and he can’t quite meet her eye. His explanation has her heart wrenching. How can he view himself like that? How can he not understand that the other thing she ever cared about was him? He’s crazy smart, in his own way, and he’s certainly one of the most brilliant people she’s ever known. She doesn’t need anyone better… just him.

“Oliver… you really don’t get it, do you?” She questions with a shake of her head and that finally has him meeting her eyes. Blue meets blue and the pain and suffering Felicity can see deep within those eyes she knows so well tugs at something deep within her. “I never _wanted_ anyone else. I don’t need anyone better, there is no one better, or at least, I thought there wasn’t…”

Oliver stares at her for a long moment, the tears still flowing down his cheeks and he shakes his head in a moment of amazement, clearly taken aback by her words. Felicity cannot believe that this is what these past months have been about. Of all the reasons she dreamed up in her head that may have possibly explained his actions on the hillside that day… him not feeling good enough for her never entered his mind. He’s a billionaire, heir to a multi-billion-dollar corporation, one that she knows he’s going to be incredible at running one day. To think that he was feeling pale in comparison to _her…_ that’s totally baffling to Felicity.

“Felicity, I thought I could let you go, that you’d be better off without me but I have been so miserable without you these past months and today at the store when you told me how miserable you’d been too… I couldn’t for the life of me wrap my head around it. I… I know I hurt you, more than anything, and that I betrayed your trust in the worst way. I am _so_ sorry. I know I’m not entitled to even have you listen to me right now but I love you… more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I know that you are it for me and I beat myself up every day that I let you go.”

Oliver’s voice is honest and clear and Felicity can see that same honesty shining on his face. It takes her aback for a moment, all these months she’s assumed that he just fell out of love with her, that he decided she wasn’t good enough but no… this was his strange attempt at a sacrifice.

Her ridiculous, boneheaded pine tree. She cannot believe him.

“Oliver… what are you saying?” She questions slowly, wanting to make sure she’s got this clear in her mind before she says anything she might come to regret.

“I’m saying that I was dumb and scared and I let the best damn thing in my life slip through my fingers because of it. I’m saying that I love you and that I know I can’t fix this in a ten-minute conversation, but I want to try and I want you to know that I’ll do anything to gain your trust back. I’m saying that I’m sorry, that what I did was wrong, and that you don’t owe me anything, but I pray that you’ll hear me out and that our love is as strong as I think it is,” Oliver explains gently and slowly and Felicity hears herself gasp under her breath as her own tears spring to her eyes.

Can she do this? Can she let him back into her heart? Almost every part of her is screaming yes, the memory of the yearning of the past few months sinking deep into her and pulling her towards him by some invisible string.

Part of her, however, holds her back. The part that cried for weeks after her father left, the part that flares up in the early hours of the morning as she remembers how her heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces on that hillside.

She wants him, to feel that same safe feeling he always elicited in her once more, but she’s scared and she knows she needs to tread cautiously for the sake of her own heart.

“Oliver…” She starts with a sigh, pausing as she realizes just how much the tone of her voice carries. This is it, a threshold. After this, they go one of two ways and the ball feels like it’s very much in Felicity’s court. “You’re right. This conversation isn’t going to fix everything. You hurt me in what you know is the worst possible way and it’s going to take a lot for that scar to heal. But you’re also right in the fact that our love is strong and that I think you’re it for me too. I just wished you’d talked to me about all of this instead of making a stupid, rash decision that left us both heartbroken for months.”

“You… you love me still?” Oliver questions, his eyes wide and filled with a hopeful almost disbelief. It makes Felicity smile, inciting that feeling he always has in her. She feels beautiful when he looks at her like this, _wanted,_ and it’s everything she’s missed for the past months.

“I told you earlier that I never stopped. I didn’t lie,” Felicity replies honestly with a small smile.

“And you’re willing to give us another try?” Oliver questions, that disbelief still shining in his tone. Felicity takes a deep breath, that dubious part of her screaming out and she swallows thickly, forcing her own brain to come to a compromise.

“I’m willing to think about it,” She tells him and Oliver smiles, his eyes shining with that affection that has always made her feel so special.

“That’s all I ask,” He tells her with that same smile and Felicity feels one of her own spread across her face. Her stomach flutters as a far more comfortable silence settles between them. It’s the silence she’s used to, one she’s actually missed. “Am I allowed to say that you look beautiful?”

“Only if I can say you look very handsome,” Felicity blushes, looking over the way his arms fill out the suit. She remembers when she first realized she found Oliver attractive when she was 13, it had been the most startling of revelations but ever since, she’s always appreciated how pleasing his form is to her eye.

“Yeah?” Oliver questions with that same sweet dubious expression and Felicity smiles with a nod, biting her lip as she unashamedly looks him over.

“You always filled out a suit well,” She comments with a shake of her head and she continues to bite her lip, her eyes almost glazing over with the intensity of it.

“I missed you,” Oliver chuckles with an amused shake of his head and Felicity softens, tilting her head as she smiles warmly at him.

“I missed _you,”_ She replies and Oliver smiles, their eyes meeting. Both of their expressions soften and in that moment, their eyes convey everything they haven’t said. There’s longing, gratitude, and so much love and Felicity feels like she could drown it in, the dizzying feeling surrounding her, and threatened to whisk her away on its wave. Felicity thinks she might just let it.

The sound of the lock turning jumps them both out of it and they turn to see Tommy entering the room as if there might be a monster within its walls.

“Is it safe? No limbs missing?” The tall man questions, his eyebrows rising as he spots them both sitting civilly on the couches.

“We’re all good, Tommy,” Oliver chuckles with a shake of his head and Felicity smiles with an affectionate roll of her eyes when Tommy turns to look at her with a disbelieving raised eyebrow.

“Good as in _good,_ or good as in ‘civil enough not to let Felicity tear Oliver apart’?” Tommy questions with a frown and Oliver scoffs with a roll of his eyes.

“Somewhere in the middle,” Felicity confirms and Tommy smiles with a nod of his head.

“We can work with that,” He comments and Felicity snorts at that, the assumption that he’s involved in this all is just so Tommy and it’s exactly the ice breaker she needs right now.

“What do you say to fulfilling that promise of a drink, Merlyn?” She questions as she stands, her heels clicking as she walks over their friend, watching as his eyes light up.

“I’d say you’re the worst good influence ever and that I would be happy to oblige,” Tommy grins as she offers him her arm, and Felicity chuckles, slipping her arm through his. As they make their way to the door, Felicity shoots a flirty glance over her shoulder back at Oliver.

They’ve got a long way to go, a lot of trust to rebuild, but Felicity never could have imagined this being what would come of her winter break. She’s so thankful for the two of them finally communicating and she hopes the only way they can go from here is up. After months of pain and sadness, she’s looking forward to reconnection and coming back together, slowly but surely, and to always feeling that way Oliver elicits in her. It’s a long journey they’ve got before them but it’s one Felicity knows they can handle, so long as they keep that connection open and learn from their mistakes. 


End file.
